


The Bitter Suite: Recriminations

by Laure Alexander (ladyoneill)



Series: The Erotic Adventures of Willow and Spike [27]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/M, Rape/Non-con References
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-03
Updated: 2013-03-03
Packaged: 2017-12-04 05:45:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/707210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladyoneill/pseuds/Laure%20Alexander
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Confrontations all around as Spike sort of confronts Angel, and Drusilla has a vision of Spike and Willow together, plus Buffy and Angel have more fun.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Bitter Suite: Recriminations

**Author's Note:**

> Mucho apologies for going eleven months without updating this here (although the whole series is available in multiple places online). Laziness is no excuse.
> 
> This part was originally three chapters, January 6-11, 1999. There is rape aftermath--at the time I wrote this, I wouldn't have really considered the relationship between Angel and Dru as rape, but my beliefs have shifted and warnings are so much more a big deal than they were fifteen years ago when I started writing--when basically you didn't warn for anything, maybe really graphic rape or character death.
> 
> Original Notes: We're gonna pretend that Spike put the torn nightgown back on Dru before falling asleep in an earlier chapter. Thanks to my muse for pointing out the inconsistency.
> 
> I hope to update three times a week as there are so many stories in this series, but...I kinda suck...

Spike found the book right before sunset. Hearing his sire stomping around above his head, he flung himself into his chair and wheeled back to his room. Stuffing the book under the mattress, he jumped into bed.

Drusilla stirred, rolling over to face him. She whimpered and he ran his eyes over her body. The whip marks were visible, but mostly healed. Spike was more concerned about her state of mind. Sometimes after Angel punished her like this, she reverted to a childlike state. Sometimes... she went catatonic.

"Spike," she mewed. "I hurt."

"What can I do to help, luv?" He looked into her pain-filled eyes and winced in sympathy.

"Hungry."

"Can you hang on while I take us to the kitchen, luv?"

"Um hum."

Quickly Spike lifted himself into his wheelchair and reached for her. Drusilla slid from the bed, whimpering at each movement, then curled onto his lap. The rags she wore barely covered her and were stiff with blood, but he didn't want to hurt her more by trying to dress her.

Very carefully he rolled them out of the room and down the hall to the kitchen.

Hanging from meat hooks in the ceiling were three teenage girls. They were alive and naked, bound and gagged, and clearly terrified.

Spike scowled. This was not something he had ever done. A vampire went out and hunted and killed. He didn't keep live snacks. All it took was one managing to escape...

At the scent of a live human, Drusilla perked up some and managed to rise to her feet. On shaky limbs she shuffled over to the first girl and ran her hands over the small breasts and stomach. The girl whimpered behind her gag, fresh tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Come feed with me, Spike?" Drusilla asked, her face shifting.

Hunger roiled through him, but he remembered Willow's words, her apparent horror at his feeding, and didn't move. He watched Drusilla shrug, then turn and bite the girl's neck, drinking quickly and sloppily.

The scent of blood filled the room and Spike felt his face changing, his demon emerging. He was hungry and he needed fresh blood to recover his full strength.

Willow was just going to have to learn to accept that.

Rolling forward, he grabbed the second girl, tearing the rope free of the hook so that she fell across his lap. Growling, he buried his mouth in her throat, cradling her like a baby as he fed on her life.

*****

Willow finally stopped crying and excused herself. Going into the bathroom, she slumped against the sink and tiredly splashed cold water on her sore eyes and aching jaws. Crying took a lot out of a person.

Glancing up, she winced at the image in the mirror. Her face was red and streaked with dried tears. Her eyes were badly bloodshot and so dull. Her hair was tangled and limp around her slumped shoulders.

It was so easy to blame it all on Spike...but she knew that wasn't right. Even if he had known about the possibility of the bond, Giles had said it was a very rare woman who could create the enzyme.

And she had been the one to initiate the bite, begging him to take her blood.

As she looked back on it, Willow couldn't figure out why she had done that. Everything she had read stated that, although possibly pleasurable, vampire bites did not induce the ecstasy as movies and romance novels would have one believe. She had known that, even if at the time she hadn't been thinking clearly.

So, why had she wanted him to bite her?

Maybe...just maybe a part of her had known that she would be receptive to it.

That thought was too repulsive to be considered and Willow shook herself angrily. But, an obscene image remained. Of a female animal going into heat when the right, best male came around.

Had her body done the same thing?

Nausea slammed into her and she flung herself towards the toilet.

*****

After she fed, Drusilla patted the dead girl's head, then walked over to the remaining one. She twisted in her bonds, terrified, squealing through her gag.

"Ooh, she sounds like a little piggy. Can I eat her, too?"

"Are you feeling better, luv?" Spike shoved the corpse off his lap and eyed it with growing distaste.

"Um...yes. Much better."

"Then why don't you leave it for someone else. You can go hunting later tonight if you want a snack."

Drusilla twirled over to him and he saw that the whip marks had faded to white and a hint of color was in her cheeks. "Okay." She sat down on his lap and squirmed as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

Spike cursed silently as he felt his cock twitch and begin to swell.

Eyes widening, Drusilla squirmed some more until he grabbed her and forced her to sit still. She gave him a wicked look. "Do you want to fuck, Spike?"

Spike stared at her in amazement, then shook his head in confusion. "Aren't you still in pain, Dru?"

"Yes, but that doesn't matter." The innocent and obscene honesty in her voice made him cringe and want to smack Angel several times, hard. He remembered what Drusilla had said. After Angel had torn her inside, he had taken her. So, of course she was used to it.

"It matters to me, Dru," he said, seriously.

Drusilla sighed and nipped his ear, whining slightly, "I hurt, but I'm all squidgy inside, too. I don't mind if you hurt me more." She licked his neck, then bit his chin.

"No. Not tonight. You need a nice warm bath and some clean clothes."

Rising to her feet, Drusilla sent him a pouting look, then stomped down the hall like a child. He heard her go up the stairs and wondered if she would entice Angel into fucking her senseless or if she'd take the bath.

Shaking his head, he rolled towards the elevator, hoping he could keep her out of their sire's bed for one night at least.

*****

Willow emerged from the bathroom looking even more pale and sick. Buffy immediately jumped to her feet and helped her friend to the bed.

"Will, you really don't look good. When was the last time you ate something?"

"No food," Willow groaned, settling back against her pillows.

"You have to eat," Cordelia said, gently rubbing one of Willow's limp hands. "You'll just make yourself sick."

"Maybe I'll die."

Both girls stared at the redhead, trying to determine how serious she was.

"Will," Buffy began carefully, sitting at the foot of the bed. "You aren't thinking...You really didn't mean to kill Spike, did you?"

"I don't know," Willow whispered. "Did I miss on purpose? Did I want to hurt him? Did I want to let him know how vulnerable he was?" She looked at her friends through anguished eyes. "Maybe I did want him dead. Then, it would only be a few weeks and it would all be over."

Cordelia's breath hissed sharply between her teeth and she snapped, "Don't you dare talk like that. This is not the end of the world, do you hear me, Willow Rosenburg?"

"Cordy's right. Spike loves you. Okay, right now you despise him, but...would it be so terrible."

Willow stared at Buffy in shock and responded in a harsh voice. "I'm not you. I'm not going to settle for something less just to make it easier for myself."

Hurt flooded Buffy's eyes and she looked away. "No, you just fucked a demon you had no feelings for whatsoever."

"TIME OUT."

Both girls stared at Cordelia, who continued in a quieter voice. "Turning on each other and being bitchy is going to get no one anywhere. Now, Willow, you have a couple choice. You learn to deal with what Spike is and try to figure out what you feel for him. You accept the bond and the necessity of sex with him for the rest of your life. Or, you kill him. Or, you kill yourself."

"Cordy," Buffy interjected.

"It's not fair," Willow yelled. "It's not fair that those are my only choices. What did I do so wrong in my life? Okay, I slept with a demon. Do I deserve to be tied to him for the rest of my life? I can't have a normal life. I can't have a family...a husband...children. How could I explain this to a man? How can I go away to college or have a career or..." She angrily blinked away the tears that were forming and swallowed hard.

"Willow," Cordelia said softly.

Willow shook off her hand, wrapping her arms around her heaving chest. "I can never leave Sunnydale for more than a month. I'm stuck here...until I die. And, did Giles tell you, this bond...usually the vampire eventually tires of being bound to a human woman...and kills her."

Cordelia gasped, paling. "He wouldn't. He loves you."

"Does he?" Willow asked bitterly. "Or...was I just a convenience? Sometimes, I wondered about what we had. Was I just something to alleviate his eternal boredom? A virgin he could instruct in all the various ways of sex?"

"Willow, I've never seen anyone so in love as Spike is with you."

"Oh, you're such an expert, Buffy. You're one great love turned into a monster."

Buffy cringed at the bitter sarcasm in her best friend's voice and felt her own tears well up. "I can't help but feel that you're blaming me for this. If you hadn't known me..."

"Oh, grow up! Not everything is about you. You can be such a selfish..."

Willow never got the rest of her diatribe out as Cordelia's hand cracked across her mouth, effectively stunning everyone in the room.

"Apologize, NOW."

Willow stared at Buffy, saw the tears in the blonde's eyes, and realized that Buffy was right. A part of her did blame her, but not anywhere near as much as she blamed herself. "I'm sorry, Buffy. I don't know what I'm saying or doing."

"Do you blame me?" Buffy asked hesitantly.

"I think...a little bit. You're right, if I hadn't known you...Of course, if I hadn't known you...I'd probably be a vampire or dead by now." As fresh tears leaked out of her eyes, she reached for Buffy and they hugged tightly. After a moment, both turned and drew Cordelia into their embrace.

Cordelia began to cry softly, holding onto Willow as if she was a lifeline. "I can't lose you, either of you. So both of you, you have to learn to accept what life has given you. You're both so strong. You can survive the bond, Willow, and you can survive Angelus, Buffy. Just...don't give up."

*****

Hearing Drusilla singing to herself and splashing in the large bathroom that separated her room from Angel's suite, Spike wheeled into his sire's sitting room. Angel sat on the sofa reading the evening paper.

"Roller boy. Sleep well?"

"Well enough. You have plans tonight?"

Angel lowered the paper and narrowed his eyes. "I thought I'd take Dru hunting--sounds like she's recovered enough-- then drop her off here while I go find my blonde bimbo."

"Yeah, I saw the Slayer. She's looking much better. You been leaving her alone?"

"Hah hah. Just a change of method, Spikey. I told you once, the only way to kill that girl is to love her."

"So...gonna kill her anytime soon?"

"Why would I do that? She doesn't stop me from feeding and I get a lot of wild fucking. True, she doesn't have quite the stamina or ability to take pain as Dru, but there's nothing like the hot quim of a human to drain an ice-cold cock." Angel gave Spike an appraising look. "But, then, it's probably been, what, a hundred years or so since you've been unfaithful to your beloved princess?"

Spike gave him an icy look. "Dru and I love each other. An emotion you are incapable of feeling."

Angel shuddered and grinned. "Why in Satan's name would I want to feel love for anyone? What a revolting thing for a vampire to want."

A loud splash and a cry of pleasure came from the bathroom and Spike groaned as Angel laughed.

"Sounds like your princess has fallen off her pedestal and is finger fucking herself into oblivion."

"What the fuck did you put up her last night?" Spike snapped, angrily, trying to tune out the sounds of Drusilla pleasuring herself.

Angel's eyes narrowed again and he looked at Spike appraisingly. "Be careful, mate. I could still use it on you. And, nobody would stop me. You certainly couldn't. Remember, I'm top dog now. You ceded your position without a fight. You want one now and you'll find yourself on your stomach in front of the entire clan with my cock up your ass."

"I won't be in this chair forever," Spike said carefully.

"But...you'll always be second to me," Angel said, nodding towards the bathroom door. "Sloppy seconds, at that."

Fighting back the desire to leap at his sire, Spike spun the chair around and quickly wheeled out the door, gritting his teeth at Angel's laughter. His demon roared in his mind, but Spike fought it back, growling deep in his throat as he rolled into Drusilla's room.

She was sprawled on her bed on her stomach, smiling, her eyes closed.

"Oooh, Spike, I feel all tingly inside."

Stopping beside the bed, he levered himself onto the mattress next to her and her eyes fluttered open. "Did the bath make you feel good, luv?" All the tenderness he felt towards her came out in his voice as he successfully shoved his demon down.

Drusilla purred and rubbed her cheek against his denim- covered thigh. "And my fingers." She sat up, then jumped off the bed and wafted over to her closet, throwing the doors open. "My Angel wants to go hunting with me. We haven't done that in forever. I must look my best." She began to go through her dresses at a near manic pace.

"You always look lovely in the black gown, pet."

"Oh, yes." Drawing the black velvet gown out of her closet, she slipped it over her head. The bodice plunged low between her breasts from narrow straps and was decorated with embroidered tangled rose vines. She found a pair of black suede pumps and slipped them on, then hurried to her dressing table for her brush.

"Come here, princess. Let me do that."

Smiling, Drusilla traipsed over to Spike and handed him the brush before settling between his legs. She shivered as he begin to run the hard bristles through her damp hair.

*****

Willow lay in the darkness of her room staring at the Monty Python screen saver--BBC Fairies--on her computer. Buffy and Cordelia had finally, reluctantly left, after she had convinced them that she wasn't going to kill herself.

And she meant it. She didn't want to die.

She just wasn't sure she really wanted to live either.

Her mother had bought the time of the month cramps excuse and left her alone. Willow couldn't face steak. Nothing bloody. Not now.

Maybe she'd become a vegetarian.

Idly she wondered if Spike would come to her again or if he'd found the book. She didn't have the energy to glance through it herself.

No, staring at the buzzing BBC executives was strangely soothing and so much easier than actually trying to accomplish anything.

Unfortunately, they were rather hypnotic and Willow kept having to jerk herself awake. The last thing she wanted to do was sleep. Sleep only brought horrible nightmares.

*****

An hour had passed since Angel and Drusilla had gone hunting. As soon as they had left, Spike had retrieved the book and searched for the relevant chapters. Once he had found them, he had read voraciously.

Now, the truth revealed, he set the book down on his desk very carefully and stared across the room in shock, swallowing convulsively.

He had destroyed the woman he loved.

She would never forgive him for this, never believe that he hadn't known. A bond of blood and lust that would tie her to him for the rest of her life. One bite had created that. One, totally unnecessary bite.

An image flashed through his stunned mind of Willow, thin, white haired, her face lined with an ancient pain. She shuffled across the room to where he sat, Drusilla on his lap. The image was so clear, as if it was strangely precognitive.

The elderly Willow removed her clothes and laid down at his feet, waiting. And he took her, hard, fast, uncaring, biting and feeding in the same manner. He could tell it was the last thing on Earth she wanted to do, that she hated it, hated him.

And, as he felt her heart break, his shattered as well.

As the vision cleared, Spike realized that tears were running down his cheeks. How many years, decades had it been since he had cried?

And a tiny, teenage spitfire was the cause of it all.

His true love.

And, she hated him.

*****

For fifteen minutes he had stood outside her French doors, looking through the gap in the curtain, watching her sleep. She was so beautiful, but he could see the strain on her young face, the lines of fear, the unnatural pallor, the bruise that makeup couldn't hide completely.

Guilt rolled through him, quickly followed by silent chastisement. Vampires didn't feel guilty. He had no reason to feel guilty. She had burned him with a cross!

A feeble excuse. Self-disgust joined the guilt, forcing the demonic side of himself into retreat.

Willow rolled onto her side, facing the window and Spike watched her curl her hand into a fist as a frown formed on her face. One leg kicked out, then she drew herself into a ball. He could see her trembling.

Pain ripped through his dead heart and the misery nearly overwhelmed him.

Everything she was experiencing--every ounce of pain, every second of nightmare--was all his fault.

Spike leaned against the glass, his hand on the door knob. He knew he had no right to go inside, had no right to ever bother her again.

But, if he didn't...she would go insane. They needed to talk about this, about this bond. He had to convince her that he hadn't known anything more than rumors and that he certainly hadn't been consciously thinking of it. She had to believe that he loved her. Somehow he had to convince her and he had to get her to accept Drusilla.

His demon refused to let Drusilla go, but a part of his human side held on to her as well. He loved her, had loved her for over one hundred years. He couldn't just give that up.

Neither could he lose the girl lying ten feet and a million miles away from him.

*****

Willow moaned and opened her eyes. She sat on a cushioned chair and in front of her was a group of vampires. None of them were paying any attention to her. Puzzled, she glanced down and saw that she was dressed in a skin-tight, black leather dress that barely covered her breasts and rode high on her fishnet covered thighs.

A hand from beside her reached for her and she looked at the fingers wrapped around her wrist. Long, slender, very pale, masculine.

Turning her head, expecting to see her lover, her eyes met dark and fiery ones.

Angelus lifted her wrist to his mouth and he sucked on the pulse point.

Only, there was no pulse.

As that fact settled into Willow's quickly panicking mind, there was a commotion amongst the vampires. A woman was being dragged forward. A human woman.

Buffy.

"Your time's up, Slayer," Angelus said jovially. "Will, she's all yours."

Willow felt herself rise, felt her face shifting, changing, felt the evil overwhelm her, forcing the real her into a corner of the demon's mind.

Buffy was fighting, trying to free herself, but she was hopelessly outnumbered. The Willow who was watching from the corner of the demonic mind registered the changes in her best friend. She was older, harder looking, almost ragged. There were scars on her too thin body, a hideous one over her milky left eye.

Instinctively Willow knew she had done that, she had blinded her best friend's eye.

"Party's over, Buffy."

Was that her voice? That husky, evil sound?

"Another will follow me," Buffy said bravely. "In the end, we will win."

Willow chuckled and reached for her one-time friend. "For you it was over the day you let him have me. You let me make the bargain and didn't stop him from collecting. You doomed yourself, Buffy." Leaning forward, she buried her fangs in the blonde's throat. Hot blood gushed over her tongue and down her throat.

Screaming the word 'no', Willow forced herself awake.

*****

Spike heard her cry and saw her sit up, her entire body shuddering. Before he could think, his hand was turning the door knob and he was inside the room.

Caught in the horror of the nightmare, Willow could only stare as Spike hurried to her side, his face showing only concern. He dropped onto the bed next to her and that galvanized her. Scooting out of his reach, she pressed herself to her headboard.

"Go away," she mumbled, still shaking. The dream had been horrible, so terrifying...so real.

"Willow..."

Spike reached for her and Willow flinched back, then flung herself from the bed. Dizziness immediately hit her and she stumbled into her dresser. Her legs threatened to give out and everything went hazy.

The next thing she knew, Spike was carrying her back to the bed.

"What happened?" she asked weakly as he lay her down carefully, then sat next to her.

"You were fainting, luv."

Willow realized he was stroking one of her hands and she jerked it away, then groaned as another wave of dizziness hit.

Forcing down the feeling of hurt that spread through him, Spike looked at her carefully. "When was the last time you ate anything?"

The blank stare that met his question, answered it.

"Where are your parents?"

"Um...Mom's at her playreading group. Dad's bowling."

"I'm going to make you a sandwich." He rose and walked out of her room before she could protest.

Wrapping her arms around herself, Willow watched him leave, trying to raise her anger at him. She was just so tired and so scared and her body wouldn't stop trembling. She reached for the blankets and pulled them up to her chin, but she still felt cold.

A few minutes later Spike returned carrying a plate with what looked to be a turkey sandwich on it and a glass of milk. He set them down on the nightstand, then pulled the desk chair up to the bed and sat down on it.

Willow stared at the sandwich and was surprised at the rumble in her stomach. Reaching for the food she devoured it in a couple of minutes, not even tasting it. When she was finished, she leaned back against the headboard, hugging the blankets to herself.

"Go away."

Spike ignored her and crossed one leg over the other. "I read the book, Willow. I didn't know about the bond. I knew...something, but not that, not what it would do to you," he said quietly, trying to convince her.

"I don't believe you," she answered in a bitter voice.

"Then I'll just have to convince you."

Her eyes skittered to his and he nearly flinched at the depth of pain he saw. "Willow...I didn't bite you until you asked me to."

"You bastard."

He acknowledged the truth of that with a shrug of his shoulders. "At the time, I think I might have remembered something very vague about feeding during sex, but I honestly did not remember anything near the truth. Even after reading about it, I still can't consciously recall ever learning about that. Apparently it's so rare that most vampires don't know about it."

"You're not 'most' vampires," she shot back.

Spike tried another tack. "Luv, I understand the ramifications of the bond for you. The chemicals building inside you need release."

Willow felt amazement flood her and she stared at him wide-eyed. "You came here for sex? You really think I'll let you touch me?" She laughed harshly and pointed to the doors. "Get the fuck out of my room."

"You're an intelligent woman, Willow, and, no, I didn't come here for sex. We need to talk and we still have several days before the month is up."

"I'm not sleeping with you." Willow shook her head in denial. "Ever again. You're not touching me, not biting me. I'd prefer to go nuts."

Anger erupted in him at her bitter determination to be difficult. "Shut up."

Willow stared at him in surprise.

"Do you really think I'm going to allow that?" Ice hung in his voice.

And the fear returned. Willow looked into his eyes and felt a pang of sorrow as she saw how empty yet determined they were. As the panic spread through her, she acknowledged the truth. He could do anything he wanted to her and she was pretty much powerless to stop him.

If he wanted to, he could take her right now and all her battling would bring her nothing and would probably only enrage him.

"Please don't," she whispered, pleading.

Spike stared at her in growing exasperation. He tried to bring himself under control, to understand her fear, but he was still so baffled by it. She was more frightened of him now then she had been their first night together. "Please don't what, Willow? Just what do you think I'm going to do to you?"

"...I don't know," she answered in a small, thin voice. "You won't let me go insane...There's only one way to prevent it."

"As I said, we have several days. Several days in which we can talk all this mess out and make it right again."

Willow shook her head slowly. "It will never be right again."

Spike sighed airlessly and ran one hand over his face. "Never is a very long time, luv. Now, let's talk about Drusilla."

*****

Drusilla strolled through the empty mansion, wondering where Spike had gone and what Angel was up to. Her daddy was being very secretive.

And, so was Spike.

Walking into his room, she lay down on the bed and stared pensively at the ceiling. She didn't like the boys keeping secrets from her. Secrets were bad. Keeping secrets got you a swift caning on your little bum.

Giggling, Drusilla pulled a pillow to her face and took a deep sniff. It smelled like Spike--all musky with a hint of wintergreen. Angel smelled like death all the time, which was wonderful, but she liked the fresh smell of Spike. After feeding, he always cleaned up and brushed his teeth.

It was...nice. Different.

Though death tasted nice, too.

Suddenly, an image crashed into her mind, forcing out her thoughts of Spike and Angel.

She saw the little red headed girl, sitting on a bed, pouting and crying.

And...Spike. Spike was walking around her room. Spike was walking.

As the vision faded, rage filled Drusilla. Spike could walk!

Jumping from the bed, Drusilla ran out of the mansion, heading unerringly for the girl's house, her mind seething with images of the girl in Spike's arms, in Spike's bed.

Her prezzie to her lover had turned into something much more and Drusilla just could not allow that.

*****

Buffy had only about a quarter of her mind focused on her patrolling, so she was surprised when a large body tackled her from seemingly out of nowhere. The crash to the ground drove the air out of her and she gasped helplessly. A clawed hand dug into her fingers, freeing the stake she carried and flinging it away. The creature on her back growled against her neck and Buffy bucked, trying to fling him off.

Suddenly, the weight was gone. Rolling onto her back, still trying to find her breath, Buffy dizzily focused her eyes on Angel holding a struggling, male vampire over his head. Growling, he brought the vampire down and cracked his back over his raised knee.

The wounded vampire howled and fell to the ground, writhing. Coolly, Angel picked up the stake and drove it through the other male's heart. The vampire got off one stunned sound before he dusted.

Tossing the stake away, Angel reached down and hauled Buffy to her feet. She swayed and coughed, then looked up into his angry, demonic face.

"If you're going to let yourself be surprised by fledglings, I'm not going to let you hunt anymore," he snarled, shaking her.

"Hey...ow." She pulled away from him, rubbing her upper arms. "I...would have gotten him."

Shifting to human, Angel gave her a look of total disbelief. "I've been watching you for the last half hour. You haven't been paying any attention. What's wrong now?"

"Um...math test, big math test tomorrow." Buffy turned and began walking away, knowing full well that he'd follow. "So, um, you're early."

"Mansion's boring," Angel said from beside her. "Spike will only take my needling for so long these days."

"Why needle him?"

"Why not?" Angel slipped his arm around Buffy's waist, hauling her against him as they headed out of the park. "He's too sensitive. A very odd vampire."

"You made him."

Angel chuckled. "Oh yeah. Those were the days. We were the scourge of London. He wasn't such a pantywaist then. Not until he met Dru and decided that maybe vampires had hearts after all." He shuddered. "He's become even more pathetic recently."

Not wanting to discuss why Spike was different, Buffy changed the subject. "Um, are we heading home?"

"Unless you want to fuck in that alley over there."

Buffy sighed and turned towards home.

*****

"I don't want to talk about Drusilla," Willow replied coldly, avoiding looking at Spike as he leaned closer to her, giving her pensive looks.

"I know it was a shock to you, seeing me with her."

"And here's where you tell me that you're a vampire and vampires are amoral, right?" she answered sarcastically.

"Um...well...Willow, several weeks ago when I told you that you were my only lover, I wasn't lying. The first time with Dru in...way too many years was the other night. I woke up with her in my bed, naked."

"And, being a man or a sort of man, you couldn't help yourself."

"Your sarcasm really isn't helping here, Willow."

"Fuck you."

Sighing, Spike leaned back in his chair and stared at the ceiling for a moment, then looked back at the angry girl on the bed. "I've been in love with Dru for over a hundred and twenty years. That kind of emotional bond doesn't dissipate over night."

"So...when you said you loved me," Willow choked but forced herself to continue, "you still loved her."

"Yes."

Willow felt her heart plummet into her stomach and the nausea returned. Rolling onto her side facing away from him, she fought back the bitter tears stinging her eyes. "Go away," she pled softly.

"You can't accept that?" Spike asked quietly. "You can't accept that I love you both?"

"It's...wrong...unnatural." One tear leaked down her cheek to hang on the end of her nose.

"So am I." Silence fell for a moment, broken only by the harsh sound of her breathing, until Spike groaned softly. "Willow, I really don't want to get into a discussion about the mating habits of vampires right now, but I can't abandon Drusilla and won't abandon you."

"Why? Why can't you abandon her? Why do you have to still love her? You know she's sleeping with Angel. You know she's just a whore." As she spoke the angry words, she knew she was making a mistake and her body tensed.

"Do not ever call her that again."

The fury in Spike's raised voice sent Willow scrambling off the far side of the bed. He had a hold of her arm before she could get away and he spun her into his embrace. Willow whimpered and looked into his flashing eyes. He shook her once, hard and she began to shiver in fear.

Slowly Spike brought himself under control and released her. Willow stumbled backwards until she hit the wall, her eyes never leaving him.

"Fuck," he growled under his breath. "Willow..."

"I'm sorry," she responded numbly.

"You hit a sore point, luv. I'm sorry I grabbed you. My relationship with Dru, Angelus' relationship with her, if you can call it that, are both very complicated."

"I don't care. I really don't."

Spike didn't believe a word of it. He could see the fear in her trembling body, her skittish eyes. Sighing, he returned to the chair, sitting down and staring at the floor. What a fucking mess.

Suddenly there was a pounding on the outer door, a hard, loud, angry pounding. At Willow's horrified gasp, Spike looked over his shoulder, then jumped to his feet in shock.

Drusilla, a very furious Drusilla, was hammering on the glass. "Spike!"

*****

Buffy climbed in her window and went over to lock her door. "Mom's here."

"I saw the car," Angel said, shutting the window and pulling the curtains closed.

Turning to look at him, Buffy dropped her weapons' bag and kicked it under the bed. "So...are we still playing these lovey dovey games?"

Angel smirked and leaned against the window, his arms crossed over his chest. "What, you want me to throw you on the bed and fuck the shit out of you?"

"Not particularly."

He nodded, running his eyes over her body. "You're looking better, though still obviously off your game."

"I feel better. So...can we get on with it? I do have that math test tomorrow. Wanna be bright eyed and bushy tailed."

"Nothing bushy about your tail, lover."

Buffy blushed and kicked her shoes off, then reached for the snap of her jeans. Angel grabbed her hands and pulled her towards him, sliding his arms around her waist.

"Let me do that," he whispered in a husky voice, pulling her down to the floor. As his mouth found hers, kissing her tenderly, he slowly removed her clothes, his hands lingering on her breasts and hips.

Moaning in sudden pleasure, Buffy lay back, pulling Angel down on top of her. Her fingers slid inside the open collar of his shirt and she quickly freed the buttons. Running her nails over his sensitive nipples, she slid her mouth over his cheek to his ear, sucking the lobe between her teeth.

Angel yanked his shirt off, then groaned as she bit his ear. As he buried his mouth in her throat, sucking at her pulse points, his hand slid down to her breast. He tweaked her nipple until it hardened.

Releasing his ear, Buffy closed her eyes and let herself feel. His cold chest brushing her breasts, his tongue caressing her throat, his hands dancing over her stomach, his leather encased legs sliding between hers.

As his mouth moved to her breasts, sucking on one nipple after the other, Buffy reached between them and unfastened his pants. His cock sprang free, poking hard against her hip. Her hand wrapped around the head and she smiled at his grunt of pleasure.

Raising to his knees, Angel kicked his shoes off then jerked his pants down his legs, tossing them aside. Naked, he sat back, leaning against the bed. Reaching for Buffy's hand, he pulled her onto his lap.

They kissed passionately as their bodies rubbed against each other. Buffy wrapped her legs around his waist and moaned as his cock caressed her wet cleft, massaging her aching clitoris. Angel gripped her buttocks and lifted her enough to thrust inside her tight passage.

Whimpering, Buffy dug her fingers into his shoulders and began to rise and fall on his cock, her mouth buried in his throat as she panted.

Angel grunted with each thrust, his hips lifting off the floor to slam his cock deep inside her as she screwed herself down on him. His mouth ran over her neck and shoulder, then back to her rapidly thumping carotid artery. He sucked hungrily on her dampening flesh as she moved faster, keening softly into his throat.

Their lust growing, they slammed together, their bodies shaking with desire.

"Harder," she begged, biting his neck with her blunt teeth.

Digging his fingers into her ass cheeks, Angel thrust forcefully, nearly sending her off his lap. Buffy's legs tightened around his waist and she ground against him, feeling her clit throb with painful need.

Sensing how close she was, Angel slipped his hand over her slick belly and between her legs. Finding her clit, he twisted it until she whimpered and stiffened on him. Crying his name, his true name, into his neck, Buffy exploded, shaking and clenching around his cock.

Laying her back on the floor, Angel came over and thrust hard and fast into her trembling, relaxing body. Flinging his head back, he groaned her name and came hard, slamming into her grasping pussy.

Slowly he collapsed, grunting in pleasure. Tumbling onto his back beside her, he stared at the ceiling. As rational thought returned, he glanced at Buffy and saw that she was asleep.

Rising to his knees, he carefully picked her up and lay her on the bed, pulling the blankets over her. Picking up her clothes, he put them in the hamper, then quickly dressed.

Angel walked to the window and raised it, then stood there for a minute. Turning back, almost reluctantly, he returned to Buffy's side and bent over her. Touching her cheek gently, he glared in frustration. "Why do you fuck me back, girl? Why do you call my name when you come? You should hate me."

Growling softly, he walked back to the window, but couldn't resist one last look at her sleeping peacefully, a pleasured smile on her face. "I should hate you."

*****

Spike stared at Drusilla for a moment, then moved towards the door.

"Don't let her in," Willow yelled, panicked.

Flashing her an angry look, Spike opened the door and stepped outside as Drusilla backed up. He left the door open.

Drusilla stared up at him, such bitter pain and betrayal in her eyes that Spike flinched.

"You can walk," she finally said in a small, thin voice. "How long?"

"Dru...How did you find me?"

She raised one little fist and pounded it against his chest. "HOW LONG?"

Grabbing her wrist, Spike pulled her against him, watching the fury and pain meld in her expression. "Over three months."

Drusilla gasped, then whimpered in pain and pulled free of him, wrapping her arms around her waist. She shook her head, trying to deny his words. "No...why? Why hide this from me? I've so wanted you to get well."

"I...I couldn't let you know, luv. Angelus..."

"We would have been a happy family again."

Spike shook his head, trying to think of a way to make her understand that he and Angel would never be able to go back to the way things had been the century before.

"And, why are you here? At the little redhead's house? Why?" Drusilla's voice rose to a keen as her fingers wrapped into her hair, pulling.

Spike grabbed her wrists, his fingers caressing her, trying to calm her. "Luv, let me explain."

"I gave her to you twice and still you didn't eat her," she said petulantly. "And, then she came to us the other night. Why?"

"Um."

"Yes, why Spike?" Willow asked from just inside the door.

Swiveling his head to look at her, Spike glowered. She glowered right back, a tight, angry smile on her face.

"Why don't you tell your eternal love about how since you've been able to walk, you've been sneaking away and fucking my brains out."

Howling in fury, Drusilla lunged for Willow only to be brought up short by the invisible barrier.

"Willow," Spike hissed.

Frustrated, Drusilla swung around and attacked Spike, driving him down beneath her onto the stone patio. Her fingernails raked his face as she shoved her knee into his groin.

Groaning in pain, Spike tried to push her off of him, but she was intent on making him hurt. Her knee ground into his tender parts and she hissed, ripping at his shirt. As her nails dug into his chest, Spike finally managed to fling her off of him.

Staggering to his feet, blood dripping from several minor wounds on his face and chest, Spike tried to ignore the pain in his cock and balls and stay upright.

Drusilla rose to her feet, shoulders heaving, eyes blazing. "You have taken her as a lover?" she hissed in disbelief.

"...Yes."

"I'll kill her, rip out her heart, eat her eyes." Turning, she flung herself against the barrier, pounding on it as she had on the glass before.

Frightened, Willow stumbled backwards, her eyes wide as she watched the fury cross the vampiress' face. "You were a present, a thing to be used and drained."

"Drusilla, calm down," Spike said sternly.

She ignored him, growling into the room. "Come out little bitch, come out and we'll play. You play nice games with my Spike. Come play with me."

"Um...no thanks."

Drusilla howled and spun around, lashing out and backhanding Spike. He held his ground and reached for her. After a brief struggle during which she called him every foul name she could remember in at least four different languages, Spike managed to pin her arms behind her back and shove her against the barrier. Because she was in the way, he didn't go falling through.

"Drusilla, shut up."

At his harsh, angry tone, her eyes snapped to his and her demon retreated. Tears filled her eyes as her mood shifted. "Why? Why go to her? I would have loved you, nice and sweetly."

The healing scratches on his face itched and he scowled, his own anger rising. "You were too busy fucking daddy."

As his anger hit her, Drusilla began to cry softly. Spike released her and she crumpled to the ground, wrapping her arms around his legs. "I've been naughty, so naughty. I'm sorry. Please, please forgive me. I love you, not Angel, but...but he's my daddy and I have to...he makes me...please believe me."

Listening to the vampiress sob and beg, Willow frowned and sidled over to the door. She flicked a glance up at Spike's tight face and saw the anger, pain and frustration in his expression.

Instinctively, she knew that he wasn't angry at Drusilla.

Looking down at the sobbing, broken woman, Willow wrapped her arms around herself and felt a new emotion enter her--one for which she was totally unprepared. Compassion.

Spike reached down and lifted Drusilla to her feet. She slumped, trying to go back down, trying to supplicate herself, as she murmured his name over and over. Rubbing her back gently, he tried to calm her.

"You hate me," she mewled into his bleeding chest. "You hate me for letting my Angel fuck me. So you found someone new." Fresh tears spilled from her eyes, mingling with the drying blood to smear his chest and her face.

"I don't hate you, Dru. Hush now, luv. Everything will be alright."

"You won't leave me, will you?" Drusilla asked, a pitiful, wistful quality in her voice. "I couldn't bear it. Never leave me, Spike. Please, please don't hate me." Her hands slithered around his waist and she clung to him, so incredibly needy.

As he murmured her name and continued to caress her, Spike looked over her head at Willow.

Willow watched them carefully, cautiously, unsure of what to do or how to feel. She met Spike's eyes and saw the bleakness there.

Were they empty because of Drusilla or because of her?

Finally Drusilla quieted down and pulled back from Spike, her eyes downcast. "Will you punish me now?" she asked softly, wiping the bloody smears from her pale cheeks.

"No," he replied patiently. He never said yes, though she always asked after she angered him.

Drusilla nibbled on her lower lip, then turned and looked at Willow. Her shoulders straightened and her head came up. "He doesn't need you anymore."

"Dru."

She ignored the exasperation in Spike's voice and continued. "So, you'll have to find a human lover because Spike's all mine."

The strange compassion fled and Willow glared angrily at the pouting brunette. "Maybe you should ask him what he wants."

Drusilla gave her a lusty grin. "I know what he wants. I've known for dozens and dozens of years. You, little mouse, cannot possibly satisfy him. Now that he's well and I'm well, we can resume our life together. Maybe some night we'll come and eat you for dinner."

"That's enough, Drusilla," Spike said sharply, grabbing her shoulder and turning her to face him. "Go home."

Drusilla pouted and whined, "You can't still want her. She's so...human and smelly and warm and squishy." A crafty look entered her eyes. "Or, maybe you just want to eat her all up yourself."

"I'm not going to eat her. I need to talk to her."

"No." She stamped her foot. "I will not share you with another female, not a vampire and certainly not a human."

"Yes you will," Spike demanded strongly, his hand tightening on her upper arm. "Now go home and I will join you shortly."

Another whining sound came from Drusilla, then she pulled away and shoved him aside to stomp past him.

"And don't tell Angel I can walk."

"Why not?" she threw angrily over her shoulder.

"Because I would be very displeased."

Drusilla stopped and turned slowly, her shoulders slumping. She lifted sad eyes to his and nibbled on her lip again. "I won't tell. I...I don't want you to be angry with me. I just...don't want to share."

"I'm not angry, luv. Go home and I'll be there shortly."

"Will you dance with me?" she asked wistfully.

Spike gave her a brief smile and nodded. "Maybe a nice waltz, luv."

Smiling happily, Drusilla skipped away from the house.

As soon as she was out of sight, Spike turned back towards Willow. There was a look of utter devastation on her face. As he walked towards her, she backed up, unable to meet his eyes. Finally, she sat down hard on the bed and buried her face in her trembling hands.

"She's insane," she whispered.

"Yes," he answered tiredly, closing the doors and sitting back down in the chair.

"Will she...try to hurt me?"

"No." Spike was completely confident in his ability to control Drusilla.

Willow gave him a disbelieving look and a shudder of fear rolled through her. Wrapping her blanket around herself, she huddled, staring at her knees. "You want me...to share you with her."

"It's the only way, luv."

Her answer came out dull and lifeless. "Don't call me that."

Spike sighed in frustration. "I'm not ready for the wanker to find out that I can walk, so I'm going to have to keep a close eye on her. She won't tell on purpose, but you never know what she'll let slip."

"Fine. Whatever."

"Willow. This is bloody important. If Angelus knows that I've been lying to him, that I can walk, he's going to make the rather accurate assumption that you and I are lovers. I can't beat him in a fight, luv. And...we both know what will happen if I die."

Willow paled and began to shake. "Then go to her," she whispered. "She needs you...and it's so obvious that you love her."

"I do. And I love you."

She shook her head slowly. "I...I can't deal with that now. How can you love two people? Humans are supposed to be monogamous."

"As you so readily point out, I'm not human." Spike rose to his feet, digging his hands into the pockets of his jacket. "This discussion is nowhere near over, but, you're right, I need to see to Drusilla and you need to rest. I'll come talk to you tomorrow."

"No...stay away."

Ignoring her, Spike turned and silently left the room, slipping into the night.

Willow curled into a ball and buried her face in her pillow, trying to stop shaking.

When had her life gone so very wrong?

End Bitter Suite: Recriminations


End file.
